he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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