dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
