More tranny stories later!
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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