i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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