Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
