I look better un-naked...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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