I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
