she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I will be naked everywhere
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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