Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
