he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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