I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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