I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
