when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
sex in a hospital.. check
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
