He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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