Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize
