Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
