She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
