Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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