I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
