NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
