fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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