I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
