i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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