you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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