this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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