what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
