Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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