On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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