You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
