The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
