Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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