i think my mom watched the whole time
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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