I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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