saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
