is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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