Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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