I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I enjoy the company of your penis
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
