Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
