I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
