i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
