Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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