Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
