it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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