"it" just moved
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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