if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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