Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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