I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
