I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
