I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize