Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
