Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I puked a lego.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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