dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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