Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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