My Higher Power is John Stamos
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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