all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize