He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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