So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
it glows. i had to have it.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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