Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Randomize
