I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
