: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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