Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
