Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
