She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
