my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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